Book Blitz: The Outlandish and the Ego by O. Ryan Hussain

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Dark Humor, Satire
 Publisher: Xlibris
Published: February 2017

The Outlandish and the Ego is the first in a new genre of literature: political erotica. This wild and comical satire follows two parallel stories that ultimately converge and blend into a new American reality.

One side of The Outlandish and the Ego plays out with the Aide, who relentlessly seeks to maintain his power as he maneuvers his president for reelection. The Aide’s ruthless appetite for victory comes to life in the form of wife swapping, partnering with a corporation hungry for war, endless slandering, and so much more. But in order to win, the Aide must survive an evil secret society-the Brethren.

The other half of The Outlandish and the Ego finds Samuel and Roger: two wild derelicts who are running from demon gnomes that nobody else can see or understand. In order to satisfy the gnomes’ demands, Samuel and Roger must solve the riddle of “the signal.” The two twisting plotlines crash into each other as the fate of the Aide, Samuel, Roger, and the Brethren come to an unexpected and hilarious close.

Purchase Links

 Amazon: https://amzn.to/2FIj18h

B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-outlandish-and-the-ego-o-ryan-hussain/1125791271?ean=9781524581510

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/the-outlandish-and-the-ego-1

iTunes: https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-outlandish-and-the-ego/id1206303299?mt=11

IndieBound: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781524581534

Publisher: https://www.xlibris.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-001111865

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About the Author

O. Ryan Hussain is the new voice of comedic fiction and satire. The characters featured in his debut novel, The Outlandish and the Ego, are vibrant creations from a true genius. There is currently nobody better at blending truth, comedy and dirty fun.

 

Contact Information

 Twitter: https://twitter.com/oryanhussain

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theoutlandishandtheego/

Promo Link: http://bookbuzz.net/blog/dark-humor-satire-the-outlandish-and-the-ego/

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Excerpt

The following is the opening to the second chapter of The Outlandish and the Ego.

 

The Ego

 The doors to the Oval Office blew open, and supreme

authority guided the Aide’s rush toward the President’s

desk. He held a shotgun with both of his hands. The

oversized battle helmet rattled around the crown of his

head as he stomped toward his destination. He knew

everything he needed to say and how he wanted to say

it. He was ready.

“We have a situation,” he said as he pulled around the

President’s desk. As the President looked up at him with

befuddlement, the Aide leaned in and put all his weight

into a great shove and sent the desk over on its side.

“Take cover, they’re here, and they’re coming for you.”

“Who’s coming? What the hell is going on?”

“I should have informed you sooner, but I

underestimated the severity of the information given to

me.” The Aide readjusted his glasses as he peeked back

over the ridge of the fallen desk, probing for oncoming

enemies. “The Confederates are here.”

“The Confederates?” The President’s mouth gaped

open. “What is going on?” he whined.

“I didn’t want to alarm you, but there has been an

uprising, and the Confederacy, I’m afraid, is back and

looking for you.”

“I’m as white as they come!” the President whined.

“What do they want with me?”

“Most likely a swift assassination.” The Aide peeked

over the desk once more, this time aiming the barrel of

the gun at the opening of the room. “But fear not, sir. I

am here to protect the Union.”

“Where is the Secret Service?”

“Dead. They’re all dead.” The Aide looked the President

dead in the eye. “Even the first lady. She was slain out

on the front lawn.”

“This can’t be.” The President melted down to the

carpet, grabbing his hair with his trembling hands.

“They’re gonna kill me!”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” The Aide

pumped the shotgun ready. “Unfortunately, I only have

one shot left.”

“One shot?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, though, I’ll make it a good one.”

The Aide perked up as if to focus in on his surroundings.

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?

The Aide popped up and fired his last shot in the

direction of the opened doors. After feeling satisfied, he

sat back down behind the safety of the desk.

“What was it?”

“Nothing, sir. Just a false alarm.”

The President lay there with his back firmly pressed

up against the desk, quaking in a peculiar combination

of shock, fear, and rage. “No, no, no,” he mumbled while

shaking his head. Frozen, he stared into the palm of his

hands, searching for a steadiness in his current reality.

Then from the belly of the hall that led into the Oval

Office, the penetrating screams came pouring through,

directed at the President.

“What’s that?” he cried.

“It’s one of them,” the Aide said in a low tremble. “He’s

wearing a ski mask, and he’s armed.” The Aide looked

down at the ground. “It was a pleasure knowing you, Mr.

President.”

“Oh Jesus!” The President began to bite his lower

lip as he clenched his fist tight, turning the knuckles

of his hand white. The savage grunts and screams of

the masked Confederate assassin grew louder, and the

President knew it would be only a matter of time. The

masked man was now in the Oval Office. He stood in

the doorway, and though the President and the Aide

bunkered down back behind their makeshift barrier,

the masked man knew where his target was hiding. He

laughed maniacally as he mockingly danced toward the

desk.

“Please, there is no need to kill me,” the President

begged. “I’m from Louisiana—trust me, if it was up to

me, the Confederacy would have never gone away!”

“It’s too late for negotiations.” The masked man moved

toward the President, standing over the hunched man

before him. He prodded the barrel of the gun up to the

President’s mouth. “Open wide.”

“Oh Jesus,” the President muttered. He opened his

mouth, and the barrel of the gun slid inside. He felt the

cold steel bang against the tips of his front teeth, and he

knew it was the end. He closed his eyes and waited for

his world to fade into the grim abyss.

“Just as we planned!” the Aide yelled. He gave the

masked man a high five as both men bent over with

laughter. The President opened his eyes to understand

the commotion. “Did you see the look of fear?” Both

men began to cackle uncontrollably. The Confederate

assassin took the mask off, revealing his identity.

“You?” The President frowned.

“You idiot,” the Press Secretary said. “You were all too

eager to swallow that barrel!” Both men began to laugh

once more.

The President stood up slowly, adjusting his tie and

trying not to look as embarrassed as he felt. “So nobody

is dead, right?”

“Of course not,” the Aide explained. “The Secret

Service and First Lady were in on it too.” The Aide waited

for the humor to subside. He sensed that the Press

Secretary had caught his breath, so he decided to move

on with the business of the day. “All right, all right. Now

that we’ve all had our fun, it’s time to get to the serious

matters of the day.”

 

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